So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
