just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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