that's an acceptable place to lick
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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