At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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