On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
