your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
