I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
