Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize