I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
