It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
