I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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