It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
