You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
