Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Randomize
