you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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