I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
