its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well you can't waste a boner
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
