I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
