it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
