Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
