we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
