Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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