Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
