u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
