yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize