Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
