just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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