It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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