So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
