i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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