I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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