And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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