I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
