I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
