So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
