I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
