Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
