i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
