I cannot find my penis.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is classic penis vs brain.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
