everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
