thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
