I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
