Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
