She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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