Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
