Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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