i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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