i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
