Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
