Swine flu is the new snow day.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
