i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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