thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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