She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
