new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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