Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize