let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
