what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
