It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
