I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
