k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
