so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Welp...herpes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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