I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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