So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
