return my video game
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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